I promised myself when I started this site that I wouldn’t talk about sex or get too personal. Oh well, lets find out how deep the rabbit hole really goes…..

I had a convo with somebody today about sex that reminded me of one I had with babymama oh so long ago. She thought that sex was a very important part of a relationship. Me on the other hand at the time didn’t think so. I figured that it was a part but not a big part. Like power locks in your car. If it broke or something, yea you would miss it but you wouldn’t sell the car over it (well not in Wisconsin right now anyway). Well after a year and a half of growing up, I’m learning that sex is pretty important but I still don’t mind reaching around and unlocking all the doors.

 

I was in a relationship at one time with a phenomenal lady (lets call her, housewifey) when I learned that sex was more than just something you did when you got horny. Sex is communication. Not the, “what up?” kinda communication but more of an emotional type. Right before the relationship with housewifey, I had learned how to let go of everything going on around me and focus only on that exact moment in time in order to completely feel what was going on. (a skill I use alot these days) I tried it with during sex with her (who had also learned how to do it) and we had all kinds of conversations thru sex. Like some kinda sign-language porn. We argued thru it, we told jokes and laughed thru it, we even sang to it. We did everything to it except have sex. It was really refreshing to reach that level of deep communication. It was almost as if words weren’t needed during sex. And granted, it was purely primal, there was an underlying layer of intellectual stimulation there. We were both stripped bare during sex (no pun intended) and we saw each other for who we really were. It kinda scared me that somebody could see the real me instead of the front I put out there.

Housewifey aside, I don’t of think of sex as unimportant as I once thought it to be. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for anybody to hump or anything. Sex in a relationship to me is optional but if we do end up doing it, it would end up as an emotional conversation. It has a role in a relationship but as far as the size, thats between you and your partner. But whatever the size, just make sure that its quality over quantity or you’ll be talking alot but saying a whole lota nothing.