A client of mine told me something that I was surprised to hear. He pulled me to the side and told me that he has been watching me run around, handle clients, and generally be busy. He told me that I was doing a great job for somebody my age and that he was proud to see a young black man doing something with his life and actually wearing his pants on his waist. He asked me if I had any children and I proudly pulled out my phone and showed him Aden. He was really surprised to hear that I take care of my son. Next he asked me if I was in school and I told him that I was taking a little break to work this job and my businesses. That really made his jaw drop. I told him about my computer repair and maintenance, accounting, and e-commerce businesses and he just smiled. I told him that my main goal was not to get cocky about my success. Then he said something that surprised me he said, “I’ve watched you for the last two and a half hours and the only thing I’ve seen from you is confidence and respect. Keep doing a good job son and God Bless.” To which I replied, “He’s the only one who can!”

On my drive home, the man’s reaction stuck in my head and baffled me. I get that reaction a lot but why? Aren’t I supposed to take care of my child? Aren’t I supposed to do well at my job? Aren’t I supposed to treat everyone I meet with respect? Aren’t I supposed to wear my clothes the way they were made to be worn? Why are all of these normal things so special just because I’m doing it? Now the obvious answer is because I’m a relatively young black male. And I’ve crushed every negative stereotype commonplace of my demographic except for the good one 😉 . Throw in the fact that I go to church, drink rarely if at all, and am a non-smoker and I come out looking as rare as a black unicorn. But why is so little expected of people like me? Why am I seen as doing so well when I’m doing what the average non-black man in America is already doing? I don’t think I’m doing anything great, I’m barely keeping up with normal. But because I’m black, I’m some superhero. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the compliments but I won’t rest on them or only compare myself to other black males.

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Is so little really expected of me? Because I only see myself as my only competition. I refuse to look around and just because I’m so-called “ahead” of my peers, slow down, stop, or settle. I’m always looking for a new way to grow and stretch myself. Marianne Williamson said it best, “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.“