The Terrific Timing of Tiffany

I’m a believer that things happen when and as they should. While it may not seem to happen as fast or as slow as we would like sometimes, in retrospect, the timing is always perfect. As is certainly the case of a certain woman who entered my life, let’s call her Tiffany. A woman of values, conviction, and passion but would probably tell you that she still doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing. She came into my life during a time of turmoil, indecision, and great change. Spiritually (and every other way honestly) I was lost at sea and she unknowingly acted as a lighthouse during that storm. She, by just being herself, reminded me of the favorite parts of myself that I had forgotten.

Let me say a few more things about her. She is a woman who is grounded in what she believes in and lives her life accordingly. While rooted deeply in her beliefs, she is flexible and open-minded when new information comes to light. Tiffany knows how to enjoy life and refuses to wait on pointless things to do so. Her practicality is so refreshingly rare that it took me a while to believe it wasn’t an act. I’d say that she is more a realist than idealist even though she shows that side as well. She has a heart that makes you feel like the Grinch in comparison. While she is quick to move when something makes sense, she takes her time and doesn’t allow herself to be rushed when she needs time to think over something. She respects herself and has no problem letting you know her boundaries. Her children are the only ones she puts before herself but even then, she still knows how to take time and energy for herself. I’ve spent a good deal of time watching her in an attempt to figure out what makes her tick and it’s amazingly simple. Living in the moment. Her pursuit of peace and simplicity in her life shows in her choices. To watch her is to watch a modern day Zen master who ironically doesn’t see herself as such. I constantly forget her age and I’ve come to learn that it never mattered. Women like her are timeless and will seem the same age in 2020 or 2070. A woman who is extremely grateful for her life and expresses that gratitude by living it passionately. She knows what she likes and wastes no time in going after it. Through my interactions with her, she has dropped a ton of common sense knowledge nuggets on me. Most of which I learned long ago in my own life experiences but throughout the act of living, I forgot and regressed.

If recent experiences in my life are firewood and the realization that I had been lying to myself and others about who I was and what I really cared about is gasoline then Tiffany is the firework that lit me up and burned away everything that I never really was. I have to stress that she was in no way trying to have that effect on me. She was just doing what fireworks do, fly high and beautifully igniting. It’s worth repeating that she has no idea of the impact she had on me and my life. Hell, even I don’t know the full effect yet because almost everyday there is a new revelation. Now I don’t think of her as a saint and I damn sure don’t worship at the altar of Tiffany. While she will help others when she can, she in no way believes that she has any obligation to do so. A phrase I heard from her on more than one occasion and one that I am still learning to internalize is: “I don’t owe anyone anything.” She has boundaries and will let you know if you’re getting close to crossing them without remorse.She believes greatly in personal responsibility and natural consequences but also feels that safety nets should be in place. We have had discussions about things that I’ve done that have caused her to visibly react only to catch herself from reacting, recognizing that it was my issue to suffer and agonize over and not hers. This level of maturity cannot be overstated.

Her skills don’t stop at her emotional intelligence, she knows money and how to make it. She is well versed in real estate and her expertise shows. She is deceptively knowledgeable at what she knows but doesn’t feel the need to flaunt and educate others so she can fly under the radar pretty easily. It wasn’t until I asked for her help in a few areas she had an expertise in did I realize that she is like an unassuming puddle in a parking lot after a rain. When I tried to splash in it I realized that she was a pretty deep sinkhole of knowledge. I love how she doesn’t brag about what she knows and will help educate if you have a genuine interest to know about it. There are a bunch of other things that she is and knows about that made me stare at her in amazement on multiple occasions. Even now as I think about the person that she is, I smile.

Now Tiffany is by no means perfect and has flaws just like everyone else. A big difference I’ve noticed in her is how she deals with those flaws. She doesn’t waste any of her energy blaming things on other people and instead puts that energy into fixing the issue or removing herself from the situation. It’s one of the things I love about her, she rarely becomes fixated on things that aren’t getting her closer to what she ultimately wants. She’s like my first car after the reverse in the transmission stopped engaging, she only moves forward. She is truly one of those rare people that you feel fortunate to have ever met. If you are ever lucky enough to grace her path, you won’t know it, you’ll feel it.

Now I say all this about her to say that her timing in my life couldn’t have been any more perfect. It was like finding a water bottle in a desert, you don’t question how it got there, you drink up and are just thankful. To say that our time together was impactful would be a gross understatement. It was akin to being unable to find your way home and finding a map with a big red X where your house is. Unbeknownst to her(and me until months later), she became a north star for me finding my way back to myself. Tiffany had terrific timing but it was also pretty terrible as we’ll find out in Part 2…