So I’m a really intellectual person, I’m in my head more than I should be.  I think about things wayyyyyy too much sometimes and to get my mind off of something or somebody, I focus on something else as a distraction.  Something I should be focusing on.  I now realize that this is a mistake, I should deal with why I obsess over things so that I stop obsessing.  I should stop dumping pails of water out of a sinking boat and find a way to plug the hole in the boat.  I’m kinda bipolar when it comes to things so I’m either all about it or don’t care at all, which is why I probably have been using my distraction method.  One other way that I have found that works is to write out what I’m thinking about. I think I’ll try it.

Right now I’m obsessing about somebody that I’m getting to know (Lets call her the hip hop hippie or HHH).  I’m trying to decide to how I feel about her and what she will be to me.  And as usual I’m over analyzing everything little thing that goes on in our interactions.  I try to break down what this word or that gesture meant or what I should say to make her think this or that with me.  This is normally not that hard.  I can usually read people in a few minutes but my radar ain’t working on her.  I just can’t read her and its really fustrating when  all I want to do is just shut up and enjoy her company.  Earlier in the day I knew it was bad cause I didn’t get my normal call from her the night before and was thinking about her all day at work and lit up like a xmas tree when HHH called.  I know its nowhere near healthy to feel such highs and lows from another person but I love the feeling.  It’ll wear off one day but until then, I’m just gonna enjoy the ride.  We had dinner tonight.  And I finally got an answer on how a feel about her.  Now what I’m gonna do with those feelings is another question.