Last night ended up ending just about perfectly, I couldn’t have asked for it to go any differently.  Morgan actually found the time for dinner!  Although I know I’m not very exciting to her, she humored me just the same.  The waiter that I have become accustomed to at the restaurant near my house where we had dinner convinced Morgan that she should transfer to this location instead of where she currently is.  It’s the same restaurant but it’s a better opportunity.  I’m hoping that it works out for her because it does sound like more hours, more work, and more money for her.  Plus, I can only hope that her being that close to me she might come and visit once in a while, or at least a little more often than she does now.  But I got the pleasure of talking with her for an hour or so, sisters just catching up on the day to day life.  I enjoyed it greatly.

            I didn’t get those nasty messages from Seth last night either, which was a very pleasant turn of events.  I got to sit through dinner with Morgan peacefully and undisturbed, then I got to go home and get the sleep that was needed without it being interrupted.   I’ve been blessed with the fact that I haven’t heard from him today either.  I can only hope that maybe he’s started to move on and I’ll have that weight lifted without the constant fear of it returning.  But for the first time in a little over a week I find myself rested. 

            Bruce has been really confusing me over the past few days, although I don’t think he means to.  I talked with him for a little bit today and he said that (to paraphrase) he’s tired of any romantic affiliations in his life.  I’m not too sure how to take that, other than he’s not interested in pursuing anything now.  I know that he’s going through a lot right now, and I wish I could be there for him.  But I also think that he knows I am, all he has to do is reach out which sometimes is harder said than done.  I don’t know if he bounces back and forth because of what he’s going through, because of the Seth situation (which I think he takes more seriously than I do), or because he’s just not sure about me.  I wonder sometimes if it’s just that he doesn’t want to open up because he doesn’t know where I’m at… and because of Seth.  Whatever the situation I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough, although I think it’s best if I give him his space right now.  It’s funny how things happen… I thought the Bruce thing might work out this time and he waits until I’m ready and on my way to tell Seth that this isn’t what I want (just waiting for the phone call- not waiting the eight days) to question all that is me because of the Seth situation.  But I might just be speculating too, and I know that I think too much all the time about everything.  Bruce does like to purposely confuse people just to see how they might react in the hopes that he can better understand people. He usually doesn’t succeed in confusing me and might see it as a weakness that I’m allowing him to do so now.  When really it’s just that I need things straight-forward instead of silent, I’ve had to much of the hinting and taken it the wrong way. So I will give Bruce his space, I just hope he always knows that I’m nothing more than a phone call away for anything he may need.  And what I’m doing may be the wrong answer, but it’s how his actions are making me feel and I’ve learned long ago not to question my intuition.  I just hope he knows how much I care about him and that I hope he finds his strength to get through the rough situations that I know he is facing.  And that no matter where he is, I will always be there, first and foremost as a friend whether or not anything else were to happen.

            Tonight I get the pleasure of babysitting my baby sisters, Abby and Becky.  Abby is two and is perfectly in the middle of her terrible stage.  She loves to throw the glorious temper tantrums and does her job so well that sometimes you want to just rip your own hair out.  But when Abby isn’t throwing her tantrums she is the most joyous little girl.  She says the funniest things and is definitely advanced for her age.  Becky is one and is in that stage of life where you can’t communicate what you want quite yet so you spend your time extremely frustrated with everything.  And of course the only way to communicate your frustration on not being able to communicate is to cry.  Sweet irony.  Needless to say, the two of them together can be quite a handful, but a joyful handful if nothing else.  I go through the relief of seeing them grow without the monsters that I’ve had to face.  No monsters hiding under the bed or in the closet for them!  Speaking of which… I’m late.  I better hurry up so that I make it on time!