Growing up there was always this thought in the back of my head that I was more intelligent than I should be or somehow smarter on the inside than on the outside. I have no idea how to explain that. Anyway, this “intelligence” barred me from really identifying with people. Sure I could technically understand why they felt the way they felt and did why they did but it wasn’t the same as feeling it. I guess its like love, can’t be described, only felt. I think it maybe creativity, because its not exactly being smart just looking at the same situation or thing in a million different ways. In 2nd grade I was picked out for a “special” class of students who were extra creative. It was made extra clear to us that we weren’t smarter than anybody else just more creative. They even had a chart saying what a creative child would do vs what a bright child would do. For instance, a bright child would get an A on the test and a creative child would find different ways to get an A on the test. It was a stupid chart but we had to take it home to our parents. I never understood our special class, that had us work on a project and present it in the form of a performance. For instance, we had a basal wood structure to make and it had to hold a certain amount of weight. I remember researching what would make the would stronger, we tried soaking it in water and drying it out to see if that made it stronger. We were limited to only a few sticks of the wood and only a small amount of wood glue to use. That would have been fine and dandy if thats all we had to do. But we had to put on a performance during the weighing that had to do with the weighing and tell a story all with no words. We were judged on how much weight it held and how creative the performance was in relation to the weighing. No wonder I’m so weird. Being so creative makes one very prone to daydreaming. But comes in very handy with a 2 year old. I can come up with a million and one ways of bringing him out of a bad mood or anybody else for that matter. The only problem is that the analytical side of my mind brings logic into the equation and brings imbalance to the force. I just have to trust myself. I think that my creative side, and any body’s creative side is the key to unlocking that 90 or so percent of our brain that we don’t use. I know that if I let go mentally and just move and think on instinct amazing things happen that I had no idea were possible. Of course with my religion I would say that its just my connection with God kicking in. But to each their own.  I just came to the realization that my problem is that I have the power to do anything but the fact that I know that makes me lazy. I need a kick in the butt, something that will force me to ignore that oh so shiny procrastination.