I learned three lessons from three topics on my night out…

The night started off innocent enough, a little Mario Party with some lesbians and the knowledge that if Mario was black his name would be Blario. Then we all went out to a ……

Gay Bar

A friend of mine and writer for this site met me out to make sure that I didn’t get in too much trouble at my first gay bar experience. And aside from the over-sized tranny, (lets call her Joyce) there wasn’t much of a difference from it and a normal bar. Well that’s what I thought until I was going to the little boys room and got a little surprise. I was almost done with Big Ben when I hear “Nice dick!” from outside of the stall I was in. Needless to say my facial expression mirrored that of a man who just had an alligator come out of the toilet only to lick his wang and flush itself back down. You wouldn’t be able to tell my shock from my calm voice replying, “I know right?”

Gay Bar Lesson: Gay bars are the same as others except for better bathroom conversation.

Tattoos

After the great time having my dick admired, we were in the slowest drive-thru line ever when the topic of tattoos came up. When it comes to tats, I’m clean and usually don’t speak on the topic. Its never been something I ever thought about or felt that I wanted. But of course the driver as she always does made me question myself and ask why not a tattoo? She asked me, “Don’t you have anything important enough to you to get on your body?” My answer was of course, and obviously yes. It would be something having to do with my son. But then I made an excuse for not already doing it. I said that if anything ever happened to him it would always make me sad. Of course i was completely wrong but it did get me thinking. So still under the “influence” and deep in thought, I gave myself my first tattoo, that just happened to be in the back seat I was sitting in. A tiger on my chest next to my left nipple.

Tattoo Lesson: A tattoo is a permanent inscription on the skin meant to reflect the one on your heart.

Piercing

Later that night I got to check out a very interesting piercing kinda like the above picture. That conversation eventually led to talk about penis piercing which would normally make me cringe but only made me question why. I never got an answer to that question but I did learn that it will make you pee funny if you pierce it through the hole. Ouch.

Piercing Lesson: Getting pierced is like getting shot and leaving the fancy bullet in to show. I could take it in the belly but no lower.