I found myself randomly caught in a conversation last night about relationships, both past, present, and the idea of future ones.  It really got me thinking about how much other people change who you are.  I mean you learn things from every relationship, but it’s really sad because the main thing that some people seem to learn is to pre-judge any other relationship before it starts so that they avoid getting hurt.  So, being without a boss at work, I decided that I wanted to do a little research on the internet.  Being female, I wanted to look up a male point of view on the subject of new relationships, because let’s face it, if I want the female view all I have to do is ask the females around me and they’ll tell me!  I found this one article  by a guy that said there are ten questions that need to be answered before getting into a relationship, so i thought I’d share the questions followed by the gist of what he said afterword:

1. Can you be utterly, absolutely honest with this person? – Can you  ask or tell them anything without worrying about repercussions or are you walking on eggshells when you say something that for you comes naturally? 

2. How well do you talk together? – Is the conversation effortless?  How comfortable are the silences? Can you sit in silence with this person and be relaxed, such as if you were both reading a different book?

3. Do you listen well together? – (Pretty self-explanatory… do you both shut up and listen?)

4. Do you laugh well together? – (I love how he phrased this!) “Laughter is a reality that gives you the soul-based permission to become lovers.”

5. Are you truly friends? – “Love is friendship on fire.”  Is this a person you want to do things with as a friend?  Can you do the same things with them that you would do with your other friends, like travel, camp, play games, and socialize?

6. Do you kiss well? – “Think of a kiss as an extension of your emotions and how you truly feel about one another.”

7. What happens when you walk together? – If you’re shopping, etc. does chatter come easily?  Do you seem to notice and laugh about the same things?

8. How much do you have in common with their friends? -If the other person hangs out with mainly a certain type of people then obviously that person carries some of those traits that make them relate to them.  So if you don’t like the people the other person mainly associates themselves with than that can lead to a lot of issues. 

9. How well do you eat together? – Is one of you a vegetarian and the other person a huge fan of steak? 

10. Do you travel well together? – Do I need to explain?

There’s the ten questions!  I thought about some of my past relationships and realized that I had gotten into them without really thinking about anything like this.  And although I still don’t plan on thinking that hard (I think some of this stuff should just mesh with the other person) it probably wouldn’t hurt to answer a few of these first.  It’s hard to realize that I have actually been in relationships where only one, maybe two of these could’ve been answered with yes.  And that I have passed up opportunities with a few people that I could’ve answered yes to almost all of these questions, and I didn’t because I was scared.  But I have all the time in the world to figure anything out!  🙂