Dear Melissa,

While I can’t talk about everything we’ve been though, its only right that I write what I can. I remember the first day we met about 15 years ago in Mississippi. You and those glasses that made you seem so mean. You were mean. But even though we were so young I knew there was something special about you. I still don’t have a way to describe it but thats probably for the best. You were a big influence on me. I would have never even thought about touching a computer if it wasn’t for you and now I’m making a living out of it. You taught me a lot of other things from back in the day too. I don’t know how you found me after so long but I didn’t question it. You make the huge physical distance between us seem like a short city block. Even when you did actually come in town those few times, you made your presence known without even letting your presence be known. You listened closely and gave your opinions carefully. Your the reason I started this mental and emotional exhaust pipe called my blog. And even though I thought I had my own little corner of it that was private you broke your way in like you broke your way into everything else. You may have been right about what you said the night I met “her”. You said,”Marry that woman now!”, “She’s as crazy as both of us and twice as horny.” I’m still working on that one. You were a constant intrusion into my life and showed me my flaws the hard way. And I know you stole the first pics of Aden from my computer. But I couldn’t blame you for wanting to meet your first nephew. I never mentioned you to people because I knew they would never believe me. Except that one time you slipped up with MoFo. I wish I knew how you set it up to email me when you went. When I got it, I winced a little and grabbed my keys. My drive to the grocery store sorrowful but the cashier was nicer. She reminded me of you without the glasses. When I got home, I poured a coffee mug of Merlot and drank half, leaving the other half for you like I promised. Isn’t it ironic that you would go on the last day of the year but the first one of your son’s? You will be missed. Email me from heaven when you get a chance.