I finally understand madness. Its one of those, “You had to be there” or “Walk a mile in another man shoes” kinda deal. I won’t say what caused it or if I’m better yet but I thought it would be a good idea to get it all written down in case I ever find my ever elusive sanity.

Its very easy to think outside of the box, because you don’t even know what a box is. Its kinda refreshing. There is no way somebody could go from sane to crazy and full understand and appreciate it. You have to literally be out of your mind to fully enjoy it. You think things faster and meaner. Logic hasn’t even been discovered yet. Now going from sane to crazy in 10 seconds can be a little jarring at first and a little like being drunk. Because of your memory, which is the only thing about you that remains intact, is still there, you know that at one point you were still sane. And like being drunk you pretend not to be crazy but to no avail. Emotions can get a little out of control as the new crazy you discovers every memory you’ve ever had and makes wrong turns all over memory lane showing you the dark side of the moon on things you loved to remember. It really is pretty sinister especially the fact that its you doing it. Now you don’t even remember your first anything as the crazy you rapes every happy memory you ever had. Almost like a bad dream you’d shoot yourself to wake up from. Most people who lose their sanity actually do kill themselves and I know why. It really is sad. I’ve never had something happen that made me mad and nauseous since the first 10 minutes of a Time to Kill.

Insanity is the worst torture ever and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy!