When I was like 4 and 5 I would stare at myself in the mirror. I never really understood it, I just know what I saw. I would stare into my eyes looking for something, anything. And like a photo developing my preferential vision would blur and fade away and all I would see would be my eyes and I would get a feeling like I was getting close to seeing something really profound. My eyes would soon start to hurt and I would lose focus but each time I would get a little closer to seeing whatever the hell it was. It was so weird to see your face fade away like a gold miner washing his find out in a nearby river waiting to see the good stuff shine through. My eyes were the only things that remained even though they didn’t change, they would give off a different feeling, it was like I was getting in touch with what I’ve always been but just haven’t been able to capture. Whatever I was looking at was clearly me. Like a more real me. It reminds me of a quote from the Book of Benji, “Let your eyes go out of focus and try not to blink, its the only way to see the soul” I tried it again today before bed and realized that I’ve gotten too intelligent. I started to question what I was seeing, which distracts one from seeing what your looking for. Its like when I do it, the longer I do it, the real me is reaching out trying to pull himself out.