Ok so did you ever notice that fireworks, on they’re way up look like sperm on fire? Just one of the random thoughts that passed thru my mind tonight during the fireworks. The edge is really off now that I know where a certain person stands on a certain issue, and it was very obvious tonight. Six Flags was great yesterday! We went on every ride there except for the Deja Vu which stopped mid-ride. That was some scary shit! We even rode all the kid rides and went to see a 3D Daffy Duck Movie. The only dampers on the day were the bitch phone call that I had to endure from you know who and the couples all over each other before and after rides. But all in all it was one of the best days ever. Ok now that recent events are caught up on, lets get deep.

Relationships are bullshit! That is unless your in one. But love does tend to be a blinder. That being said, this thing we call a relationship deserves a little analyzation, a closer look if you will.
Now from my experiences, a relationship goes thru a few stages. Lets explore them shall we?

1. The Honeymoon Phase

This is when everything is all fresh and new and there are surprises behind every corner. Kinda like the US under Clinton. Everything is going so great that we tend to turn a blind eye to a few things. Exploring and learning about a new person can be exciting and feel really good. In this phase things tend to move very fast and almost nothing ever goes wrong.

2. Floating Phase

This is where you start to feel the G-forces lessen from the rocket you were riding in the Honeymoon Phase. Your still floating along but you start to get the feeling that your best times are behind you or that it will never be as good as it once was. But since it is still really really good, you just continue to enjoy the ride.

3. The Giant Drop Phase

If anybody out there hasn’t gone to six flags and rode the Giant Drop, let me break it down for ya. You locked in this harness with your feet dangling. Your strapped in next to somebody. The thing your attached to suddenly starts to move straight up on a big pole. Your acsension is slow at first and then speeds up closer to the top. You can see the whole park once you reach the top. If your dumb enough to look down you see where you once were. Then suddenly you stop moving up. You look around and then you drop, really fast. Closer to the ground you slow your drop and are gently brought to the earth. Ok this phase of the relationship is where the shit hits the fan and the cloud of the Honeymoon Phase you were floating on goes poof! And you are brought down to normal, emotions aren’t as high as they once were, your not as excited as you once were to see your significant other. Things you used to think were cute now just annoy you. At this point you should realize that love is like money or a drug, your happy when you have it and sad when you don’t and are constantly looking for more.

4. Ride or Die Phase

Well you’ve dropped back into normal and have to deal with real world relationship. Its not what you see in the movies or on TV. It requires work, think of it as a plant, it needs to be tended to everyday. And needs some outside lovin. You and your sweetie will both be shock from the giant drop and here is where the decision is made. Either its, buy another ticket for the same ride or hop in another line. If you two decided that the other was ride worth riding for life or at least a little longer, then communication is the key! Talk, talk, talk, talk, get some sleep, then talk some more. Your biggest feat will be to defeat what every couple will face eventually. BOREDOM!!!! Couples are the reason movie theaters stay in business. When in doubt, a couple will usually opt to see a movie. Going out to dinner also seems to be popular these days, but of couse there are only so many movies or dinner dates that you can stand. This is were relationships either sink or swim. Couples will be forced to mix it up. Another big “do or die” event in a relationship is the first vacation together. Either you never want it to end or your looking for an earlier flight out of there.

This is where things either go sour or sweet.

5a. Sweet

Congrats, you two have gotten thru the intial hard times and are probably on the road to marriage, but your not there yet, be weary of a few things. Like money, its already a statistic that wealtier couples stay together longer because its one less thing you two have to worry about. Hoes and Pimps, ok it will happen, somebody else will like who you have, and your trust in your partner will be tested, be ready because there is nothing i could possibly tell you to prepare you for how that will feel. Word to the wise, get all the facts. Moving in, ok this is a tricky one because people are so different, moving in before marriage usually doesn’t work but if you deal with that identity shock of finding out who your partner really is then go for it. Beware that its a possible “Make it or break it” thing. All in all, you two are on your way to a life of happiness together and it can be sweeter than sugar on a krispy kreme. Enjoy!

5b. Sour

At this point I would suggest running. Very Fast! Becareful about remaining friends, old wounds open easily.

Well thats my little rant on that. If I get bored with life I might end up in a relationship. And now that I’ve written this, I won’t be so lost. Feel free to use my one-sided knowledge to your advantage. Hopefully we all learned a lesson here. Because knowing is half the battle! GI-JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!