Maybe its the lack of sleep or the lack of self-truth but I’m overdue for a little truth serum. Let the list begin and think of it what you will.
1. I think about women other than Rachel
2. I don’t have full control of myself
3. I’ll have to face some deep dark secrets one day
4. I care about too many people
5. At first, the idea of being a father scared me
6. I fear what I’m capable of when I pass the point of caring
7. Everything will not be ok just because I say it will
8. I don’t have the strength to break another heart
9. I do have a mental problem that I will get fixed one day
10. I always try to delay the inevitable
11. Rachel is the best for me
12. I’ll never reach my mom’s expectations of me
13. I love Aden more than I know yet
14. I still believe that I will end up alone again
15. I fear becoming alone like my father
16. I’m a chaser, not the chased
17. I’m a well hidden nerd
18. I don’t know what happiness is
19. I fear what I need, change
20. I’m a natural father
21. I can move heaven and earth to get something done when I want to
22. I don’t fully understand love yet
23. I’m usually scared to do what I want to do
24. I fear everyday that Rachel will find somebody better
25. I’m scared what people will think about me after they read this
I’m really honest tonight
I guess practice makes perfect.
Night
megsta12
18 years ago
I wish I could pick your brain.
Rachel is good for you. Don’t ever let her go. I think it’s obvious that she loves you…considering she had your child and changed her entire life to be w/you. You’re a lucky guy. I wish I had someone like that in my life.
boobalahx
18 years ago
That’s what you said in your 25th and final statement on a long list of thoughts. Interesting, I think we all tend to feel this way after exposing our truest selves to the world. First off, GOOD FOR YOU for sharing a piece of honesty with me, with us.
I enjoy reading people’s thoughts, especially when they are deeply honest and truly heartfelt. Along with several other pieces that you have written and that I read tonight, I found this one refreshing and profound.
Have no fear of what others may think of you after reading your precious thoughts. Who gives a rat’s ass what others think so long as we can live with ourselves!? Can you still look in the mirror and say, “I rock?”. If the answer is yes, then keep on doing what you’re doing. If the answer is no, then keep on doing what you’re doing and in time you will learn to accept yourself.
Besides, thanks for letting me share on what you shared.. ^-^
PS.. In my book, practice makes progress. Perfection is to be left to Him.
Boo
ocbenji
18 years ago
Thanks for your nice words.
And that quote “…..practice makes progress. Perfection is to be left to Him.” is the best