<\/p>\n
He sits down with himself to figure out why he does things the way that he does. \u00a0He is nice when there is a no reason to. \u00a0He is nice even though he shouldn\u2019t be. \u00a0He smiles and does favors for those that might and sometimes already have spit in his face. \u00a0His actions don\u2019t have any logical base. \u00a0He himself being a very logical person understands this but doesn\u2019t act as such. \u00a0Why? \u00a0He wonders. \u00a0Is he trying to make up for some past mistake? \u00a0Because he has plenty of bad he has done in the past but nothing that would cause him to continually punish himself by behaving like a saint. \u00a0His nice actions aren\u2019t fake or a means to an end but more of a compelling want\/need to act in a positive manner. \u00a0He has suffered for it and has missed out on opportunities on things that would have improved his life. \u00a0Because he follows this moral code of selflessness he has lost all that he had many times. \u00a0It never bothers him. \u00a0He has some internal compass that tells him that he will get whatever it is he is supposed to get back and that it was time for the old to go. \u00a0He can handle bad happening to himself but not to others. \u00a0He is unfair in his giving. \u00a0He is more than willing to give of his time, money, or energy but will not accept the same in return. \u00a0He doesn\u2019t understand why he does what he does and doesn\u2019t attempt to most times. \u00a0As he sits now trying to make sense of it all, he is confused. \u00a0What would happen if he did act as everyone else did? \u00a0Would he be better off? \u00a0Would it make him happier? \u00a0He plays the scenarios on and on in his head and realizes that he doesn\u2019t care about the rewards that he might gain by being a little more selfish. \u00a0And that he probably wouldn\u2019t enjoy acting anyway other that how he already does. \u00a0He realizes that in most cases that he is losing out on things that he could be gaining for himself but he doesn\u2019t seem to care. \u00a0He doesn\u2019t know why but he also doesn\u2019t care why. \u00a0He decides that he is just following his heart and if it leads him to ruin, heartbreak, and being take advantage of then so be it. \u00a0He would regret doing anything else.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Swirlin Around He sits down with himself to figure out why he does things the way that he does. \u00a0He is nice when there is a no reason to. \u00a0He is nice even though he shouldn\u2019t be. \u00a0He smiles and does favors for those that might and sometimes already have spit in his face. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[338,335],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-of-benji","category-random-thoughts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3219"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3219\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3228,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3219\/revisions\/3228"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}