{"id":3145,"date":"2011-05-02T20:36:28","date_gmt":"2011-05-03T01:36:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/?p=3145"},"modified":"2011-05-02T22:31:37","modified_gmt":"2011-05-03T03:31:37","slug":"lessons-learned-mistakes-made-and-broken-benji","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/2011\/05\/02\/lessons-learned-mistakes-made-and-broken-benji\/","title":{"rendered":"Mistakes Made, Lessons Learned"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The  events of last two years have transformed me. \u00a0The fact that I can  admit this is HUGE!!! (yea with 3 \u201c!\u201d\u2019s) \u00a0I write this for myself as a  reminder to not forget these valuable experiences. \u00a0And like anything  else that I\u2019ve done on my own for myself, it will end up coming from my  heart. \u00a0(I guess I really do love myself eh?) \u00a0I am a extreme, dramatic,  powerful, and magnificent force of nature and I won\u2019t fight myself  anymore! \u00a0I accept myself, flaws and all! \u00a0I will treat myself and  others with respect and not pretend to be anybody but myself! The road  to get to this point was long, bumpy, and tricky but worth the ride.  \u00a0This is an explanation of my journey so far so that I don\u2019t forget  (again). \u00a0Oh yea, if anybody besides me gets something out of it, that\u2019s  cool too.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Mistakes Made<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ya  can\u2019t learn from the mistakes you don\u2019t make right? \u00a0I\u2019ve fucked up more  times than I would like to admit or would have enough time to write about so  I\u2019ll just list the main ones. \u00a0I make no excuses for making these  mistakes (even if I could bring a few people down with me \ud83d\ude42 ).<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I lived for someone else<\/li>\n<li>I manipulated the feelings of the ones I cared the most about to get my way<\/li>\n<li>I lied to myself<\/li>\n<li>I tried to improve myself at the cost of my own being<\/li>\n<li>I used sex to keep women from leaving me<\/li>\n<li>I believed that others were better than me<\/li>\n<li>I played small to make others feel big<\/li>\n<li>I pretended to be better than what I was<\/li>\n<li>I let insecurity run my life<\/li>\n<li>I hid my true self in fear of what others thought of me<\/li>\n<li>I shaped my life around what I was told I \u201cshould\u201d be<\/li>\n<li>I ignored my inner voice<\/li>\n<li>I pretended to love<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019ve treated others like garbage just to see if I could<\/li>\n<li>I changed myself into someone I believed others would love<\/li>\n<li>I faked being nice to people who deserved to hear my real mean<\/li>\n<li>I blamed others for my mistakes<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019ve tried to finish things just for the sake of finishing them<\/li>\n<li>I feared failure<\/li>\n<li>I went only 10% in life<\/li>\n<li>I accepted fear instead of love<\/li>\n<li>I let others talk down to me to help them feel better about themselves<\/li>\n<li>I cheated myself out of amazing adventures because of fear<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019ve lied to others<\/li>\n<li>I held back emotions<\/li>\n<li>I settled<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019ve made excuses<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019ve tried to push my opinions as fact<\/li>\n<li>I assumed what other people where all about<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019ve tried to stay in relationships just so I wouldn\u2019t be alone<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019ve gotten into relationships just for sport<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019ve let my childhood fears and beliefs rule my adult life<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019ve continued to punish myself for things I had no control over<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Lessons Learned<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I  have been taught many lessons throughout my short life. \u00a0Lessons  about  love, life, parenting, and soooo much more. \u00a0I continue to learn  lessons  today and relearn lessons I forgot. \u00a0Hell I\u2019m still learning  lessons  today that I was taught when I was three! \u00a0Here are most of the  most  important ones:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>There is no greater feeling than being yourself and enjoying all that you are<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t rob others of their ability to make their own decisions by lying or manipulation<\/li>\n<li>Other people are not better than you<\/li>\n<li>No matter how you look at it, you are the shit<\/li>\n<li>Learn the difference between improving yourself and changing yourself (still learning)<\/li>\n<li>Give your all<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t pretend to know what will happen<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t fear the truth or the effects of it getting out<\/li>\n<li>People will always like the real you better than the fake you<\/li>\n<li>If it doesn\u2019t benefit you or help you to get where you want to go, let it go<\/li>\n<li>Be patient<\/li>\n<li>Everything happens exactly as it should<\/li>\n<li>Just because it isn\u2019t what you wanted, that doesn\u2019t make it wrong<\/li>\n<li>Nobody owes you anything<\/li>\n<li>The world is cheated when you are not yourself<\/li>\n<li>Your true path is always paved with bliss<\/li>\n<li>Express your love openly<\/li>\n<li>Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever settle<\/li>\n<li>Fear is afraid of you<\/li>\n<li>Never underestimate your child<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s ok to be horny<\/li>\n<li>Nothing impresses someone more than not trying to impress them<\/li>\n<li>Faking helps no one but cheats all<\/li>\n<li>You don\u2019t have to change who you are around real people<\/li>\n<li>Leave the past in the past<\/li>\n<li>Peace isn\u2019t worth muting yourself<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t be afraid to change your mind<\/li>\n<li>People will show you how much they actually care about you<\/li>\n<li>Trust your intuitions<\/li>\n<li>Fuck up, apologize, fix, and try again<\/li>\n<li>Change what you can but accept what is<\/li>\n<li>No matter what, never sacrifice yourself<\/li>\n<li>Trust others to live their life the way they want<\/li>\n<li>Judging others says more about you than those you judge<\/li>\n<li>Listen more than you talk<\/li>\n<li>Life is meant to be enjoyed<\/li>\n<li>The world is not your responsibility<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; The events of last two years have transformed me. \u00a0The fact that I can admit this is HUGE!!! (yea with 3 \u201c!\u201d\u2019s) \u00a0I write this for myself as a reminder to not forget these valuable experiences. \u00a0And like anything else that I\u2019ve done on my own for myself, it will end up coming from [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[338,333,335],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-of-benji","category-ocbenji-special","category-random-thoughts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3145"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3170,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3145\/revisions\/3170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}