{"id":1013,"date":"2008-08-06T16:27:08","date_gmt":"2008-08-06T22:27:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/?p=1013"},"modified":"2008-12-14T09:04:15","modified_gmt":"2008-12-14T15:04:15","slug":"my-story-thinking-too-much","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/2008\/08\/06\/my-story-thinking-too-much\/","title":{"rendered":"My Story: Thinking too much…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Last night ended up ending just about perfectly, I couldn\u2019t have asked for it to go any differently.\u00a0 <\/span>Morgan actually found the time for dinner!\u00a0 <\/span>Although I know I\u2019m not very exciting to her, she humored me just the same.\u00a0 <\/span>The waiter that I have become accustomed to at the restaurant near my house where we had dinner convinced Morgan that she should transfer to this location instead of where she currently is.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s the same restaurant but it\u2019s a better opportunity.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m hoping that it works out for her because it does sound like more hours, more work, and more money for her.\u00a0 <\/span>Plus, I can only hope that her being that close to me she might come and visit once in a while, or at least a little more often than she does now.\u00a0 <\/span>But I got the pleasure of talking with her for an hour or so, sisters just catching up on the day to day life.\u00a0 <\/span>I enjoyed it greatly.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>I didn\u2019t get those nasty messages from Seth last night either, which was a very pleasant turn of events.\u00a0 <\/span>I got to sit through dinner with Morgan peacefully and undisturbed, then I got to go home and get the sleep that was needed without it being interrupted.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>I\u2019ve been blessed with the fact that I haven\u2019t heard from him today either.\u00a0 <\/span>I can only hope that maybe he\u2019s started to move on and I\u2019ll have that weight lifted without the constant fear of it returning.\u00a0 <\/span>But for the first time in a little over a week I find myself rested.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Bruce has been really confusing me over the past few days, although I don\u2019t think he means to.\u00a0 <\/span>I talked with him for a little bit today and he said that (to paraphrase) he\u2019s tired of any romantic affiliations in his life.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019m not too sure how to take that, other than he\u2019s not interested in pursuing anything now.\u00a0 <\/span>I know that he\u2019s going through a lot right now, and I wish I could be there for him.\u00a0 <\/span>But I also think that he knows I am, all he has to do is reach out which sometimes is harder said than done.\u00a0 <\/span>I don\u2019t know if he bounces back and forth because of what he\u2019s going through, because of the Seth situation (which I think he takes more seriously than I do), or because he\u2019s just not sure about me.\u00a0 <\/span>I wonder sometimes if it\u2019s just that he doesn\u2019t want to open up because he doesn\u2019t know where I\u2019m at\u2026 and because of Seth.\u00a0 <\/span>Whatever the situation I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll find out soon enough, although I think it\u2019s best if I give him his space right now.\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s funny how things happen\u2026 I thought the Bruce thing might work out this time and he waits until I\u2019m ready and on my way to tell Seth that this isn\u2019t what I want (just waiting for the phone call- not waiting the eight days) to question all that is me because of the Seth situation.\u00a0 <\/span>But I might just be speculating too, and I know that I think too much all the time about everything.\u00a0 <\/span>Bruce does like to purposely confuse people just to see how they might react in the hopes that he can better understand people. He usually doesn\u2019t succeed in confusing me and might see it as a weakness that I\u2019m allowing him to do so now.\u00a0 <\/span>When really it\u2019s just that I need things straight-forward instead of silent, I\u2019ve had to much of the hinting and taken it the wrong way. So I will give Bruce his space, I just hope he always knows that I\u2019m nothing more than a phone call away for anything he may need.\u00a0 <\/span>And what I\u2019m doing may be the wrong answer, but it\u2019s how his actions are making me feel and I\u2019ve learned long ago not to question my intuition.\u00a0 <\/span>I just hope he knows how much I care about him and that I hope he finds his strength to get through the rough situations that I know he is facing.\u00a0 <\/span>And that no matter where he is, I will always be there, first and foremost as a friend whether or not anything else were to happen.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span>Tonight I get the pleasure of babysitting my baby sisters, Abby and Becky.\u00a0 <\/span>Abby is two and is perfectly in the middle of her terrible stage.\u00a0 <\/span>She loves to throw the glorious temper tantrums and does her job so well that sometimes you want to just rip your own hair out.\u00a0 <\/span>But when Abby isn\u2019t throwing her tantrums she is the most joyous little girl.\u00a0 <\/span>She says the funniest things and is definitely advanced for her age.\u00a0 <\/span>Becky is one and is in that stage of life where you can\u2019t communicate what you want quite yet so you spend your time extremely frustrated with everything.\u00a0 <\/span>And of course the only way to communicate your frustration on not being able to communicate is to cry.\u00a0 <\/span>Sweet irony.\u00a0 <\/span>Needless to say, the two of them together can be quite a handful, but a joyful handful if nothing else.\u00a0 <\/span>I go through the relief of seeing them grow without the monsters that I\u2019ve had to face.\u00a0 <\/span>No monsters hiding under the bed or in the closet for them!\u00a0 <\/span>Speaking of which\u2026 I\u2019m late.\u00a0 <\/span>I better hurry up so that I make it on time!\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Last night ended up ending just about perfectly, I couldn\u2019t have asked for it to go any differently.\u00a0 Morgan actually found the time for dinner!\u00a0 Although I know I\u2019m not very exciting to her, she humored me just the same.\u00a0 The waiter that I have become accustomed to at the restaurant near my house […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[338,340],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-of-benji","category-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1013","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1013"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1013\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1013"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1013"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ocbenji.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1013"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}